List of the Moment: Goofy foreign Atari covers!

Well I don't feel like posting about any games I beat tonight so I thought I would post a list. I'll probably be doing other types of posts as time goes on.

Nester's Top 10 Goofy Foreign Atari 2600 Covers!

One of the things I love most about Atari is how much odd stuff got released for this thing over the years. One of my favorites is the foreign releases. Most of these were illegal copies made overseas by companies wanting to cash in on the video game craze. For the most part they were the same old American games given different cover art and usually different names. Some of the results of these pirates and distributors are very goofy, and here are 10 of my favorites.

10. Earth Attack by Zellers

There's so much going on in this one that it's hard to believe it's just Defender. Let's examine it a little bit. There's some sort of space guy in the center. He's shooting cosmic popcorn around a half naked lady. It looks like he's got some magic coins under him. Oh and there's also a sailor! I'm not exactly sure what Zellers is trying to represent with this cover, but it certainly isn't Defender.

9. Billard by Quelle

It's actually a little strange when the picture on the foreign release actually represents the game itself. It's especially unusual when it's something as blatantly goofy as this. Quelle was probably the king of odd foreign covers, and this is a real good example of their work. It's very silly but eye catching at the same time, and it makes me think that Quelle tried to be more than just a money grab. They actually cared enough to come up with interesting covers, so you have to give them some points for that. Or is that looking too deeply at it?

8. Fuchs & Schweinchen Schlau by Quelle

That poor pig! What else can I really say about this one? I don't know much about it, but it's probably the game Oink by Activision with a different name. If that is the case than the pig still gets it in the end, but he is a lot less cute so don't feel too bad. It's also the only Quelle game that I know of with a red boarder, but I guess you don't really need to know that.

7. King Arthur by unknown Taiwan publisher

I'm guessing this is a foreign version of Joust, but it could just as easily be Basketball or any other game for that matter. I put this one on the list because I think a flying King Arthur would actually be cool. At least it would be in that cheesy 80s way. I could totally see Harry Hamlin starring in the movie version of Space Arthur and his Astro Knights. Once again though I doubt that's what this game actually is.

6. Spider Maze by K-Tel Vision

So what does the NFL, Robin Hood on a rocket, a griffon, and a man in blackface on not quite a whole unicycle riding on an upside down rainbow have in common? Why that's easy, they all have nothing to do with spiders or mazes! This game is actually a very obscure American release, but it's sure that that foreign pirate look to it. I've never made sense out of its cover, and the other game K-Tel Vision published looks exactly the same. So was this just a generic picture? It sure seems like it would be easier to just but a plain white cover with some text on it. Perhaps it was showing some of their concepts for upcoming games. If that's the case than maybe somewhere there's prototype for blackface unicycle clown. I sure hope that's the next great Atari find.

5. Ground Zero by Hot Shot

I just can't get over this one. It looks like a little kid that wandered into the control room during a field trip and accidentally blew up the whole city. I guess that's what they get for letting kids wander around their secret military base. This is probably Missile Command but once again I'm not sure.

4. Pac Man by CCE

Is this really what they thought Pac-Man would look like in the real world? He's just a little blue guy eating a Tums while some evil peas are sneaking up behind him. Although I don't know why it's such a concern since he can clearly float on out of the maze. I'm sure he could outrun a pea and float away to safety. Now I know that the 2600 version of Pac-Man doesn't exactly look arcade perfect, but it's a hell of a lot closer than this!

3. Donkey Kong by Quelle

Yep that's Donkey Kong alright. Mario's a clown and the barrels are some sort of strange punk unicorns. Doesn't that take you right back to 1983? Oh well it's probably closer to the real thing that that silly DK cartoon, and it does make "Mario" seem more like a hero than a villain. Perhaps it was a step in the right direction.

2. E.T. Go Home by Quelle

This one is just weird. Is that a piece of toast beside E.T.? What is that thing up in the tree? Why is E.T. so grey? I guess there are many questions to be asked about this one. Of course I could also point out that the flag says E.T. Go Come when the cart clearly says E.T. Go Home. You'd think they would notice that since the words are only a couple of inches apart. E.T. was torn between two places in the movie though, so maybe he can't decide if he should go or come. That's not a very decisive look on his face either. I guess he knows that if he leaves Earth he'll never see Toastman or Mr. Corn Pop again.

1. Superman by unknown Taiwan publisher

Seriously though this is a pretty awesome Superman. I always thought he would be cooler if he looked like Joe Flaherty and dressed in a pink leotard. It looks like he's almost saved block world, but there is a robot sneaking up behind him. Oh well, he'll probably just shoot it with his pink fire gun and save the day. Actually this picture makes it look more like Berzerk than Superman. Now I'm all confused!

Anyway those are some of my favorites. If you want to check out some more very silly (and some good!) Atari covers head on over to atariage.com or atarimania.com. They've really done a lot of work over there. Much more than me.

NES #8: The Legend of Zelda

This is one of the most famous games in the history of the NES, so I don't really feel like I need to write too much about the gameplay on this one. I'm sure just about all of you reading this out there already know what kind of a game it is. You would think that after so many years of playing this game I would know what to expect, but there were a few things that surprised me this time around.

Before anyone asks me I will say that I did play through both the first and second quest. What surprised me going through the first quest again was how easy it was. Of course I have been playing this game for over twenty years so it should be easy by now. I would say that this was either the second or third game we got for the NES although it's a little bit difficult for me to remember exactly. My dad got our first NES for Christmas in 1988 or 1989 which would make me about four years old. The first game we got was the Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt cart that came with the system. We didn't have much money back then, so I remember that for the first year or so that was the only game we had to play. There weren't even any cheap rental places near us yet. We probably got Zelda either the next Christmas or my Dad's birthday. Anyway, you can imagine what it was like only having a couple of games to play. We must have played it pretty much constantly. Needless to say all that wasted youth paid off and now I can get through the first quest with very little difficulty. I never even got trapped by any Like Likes eat my shield which did help the time go by quicker. I did miss two heart containers which surprised me a little, but as it turned out I didn't really need them. I had a pretty good time going back and reliving old memories while playing this great old game.

My attitude started to change a little when I started playing through the second quest however. I don't know how many of you have played it, but it is much trickier than the first quest. Most of the dungeons are hidden under trees and rocks, so you can spend hours wandering around with your candle, recorder, and bracelet hoping to stumble across the entrance to the next level. I had only been through the second quest once, so all this searching was much more difficult. Other than a few screens that get switched around the map doesn't change. The enemies don't change either.It also seems like there are only two or three different boss characters recycled over and over again in the dungeons. It seems like I killed about fifty Dodongoes in there. All of this gets really repetitive after a while. Be careful you don't start talking to the trees like they're old friends. You're probably going to burn them down anyway.

So about halfway through the second quest my fatigue really started to set in. I guess playing both games back to back wasn't such a good idea. Just turning on the system made me angry, and searching for a dungeon made me want to get rid of this blog and do something productive with my life. I pushed on though, cursing at every one way hidden wall and filling with rage every time I saw a Red Bubble. I hate those Red Bubbles! When I finally killed Gannon for real it was very satisfying. I danced in his ashes before I saved the princess. When you go into the next room you find Zelda surrounded by some fireballs. I walked into one of them and it did hurt me. That made me think about how much it would suck if you beat Gannon with your last heart after trying several times, and when you went into the next room you accidentally walked into a fireball and died. I probably would've had a heart attack right there and died. Then who would write about video games?

Anyway, I think I'm getting a little carried away again. Zelda is undeniably a classic. It pushed gaming to a new level and set the standard for many years to come. However, I'm glad that it's over so I can put it back on my shelf and forget about it again. Sometimes this gaming lifestyle gets to be a little too much. Maybe I'll go read a book tonight. I think I will do that right after a couple rounds of Ninja Gaiden.

NES#7: Power Blade

Power Blade has just about everything you'd want out of an NES platformer, especially if you're into frogs committing suicide, big blue heads stuck the wall, and shiny metal pants. Alright so I tend to hear good things about this one, but I think it's a little too goofy for its own good, and it doesn't help that Nova, our main character, is a blatant Arnold Schwarzenegger rip off. Now I know that a lot of games did this during the time period, but this one might be the ultimate Schwarzenegger clone. I think the only thing that truly sets him apart are his shiny metal pants. Or are those legs? It's really impossible to tell. Anyway take a look at the title screen to see what I mean.
This is the best fake Schwarzenegger on the NES. It actually gives the Total Recall title screen a run for its money. As usual though he appears more blond in the actual game. I don't know why these games always had a dark haired guy on the cover and then a blond guy in the game itself.

I guess the whole scenario seems a little goofy to me. The game is called Power Blade but your weapon is actually a boomerang. It does look pretty sharp, but it's not as good as the one Lady Elaine had on Mr. Rogers. So the main computer has been taken over by aliens and you're trying to restore it by sneaking around and killing a bunch of robot animals. Everywhere you go there's a robot bird or a suicidal robot frog coming at you. You don't fight that many aliens outside the boss fights, and the ones you do encounter look suspiciously like humans.

Of course I love goofy so I really should like this game. I guess the main problem I have with it is that it is far to easy. I just picked up this game last year and I'd say it took me about an hour to finish it from the moment I started playing. It only has seven levels in it, and none of them are particularly difficult. A couple of the bosses are tricky but not overwhelming. You can pick the order you play the levels, but it really doesn't make that much of a difference as they all look and play about the same. There are also passwords between each level so you don't have to do it all in one sitting. Even if you'd never played NES before I doubt you'd have a hard time with it. It's probably easier than Rescue Rangers.

So that's about it for Power Blade. This one is fondly remembered by many gamers out there, but I just don't really see it. It's too short, and it doesn't have many original ideas. The main character looks like Schwarzenegger and the level selection and horde of robot animals makes it feel like Mega Man. At least it has big blue heads in it. That's the game's most redeeming quality.

NES #6: Zelda 2 The Adventure of Link

I was excited about playing through this one again. Growing up I always said that this was my favorite game in the Zelda series, and I wasn't only saying this to drive my friends in college crazy. I loved everything about this game. I thought it was cool that Nintendo tried to do something different with this one. Every other Zelda, and most gaming sequels in general, just tried to redo the first one with fancier graphics. In fact this game is the only entry in the main series that is a direct sequel. All the other games follow a very funny chronology. Most of them are actually more remakes than sequels, but be careful who you tell that to. Zelda fans can be sensitive.

This game has always been the dark horse of the regular Zelda games. The main complaint I hear is that the combat is side scrolling. This is a big departure from the first game, and one that I actually liked. It allows for more impressive graphics and a larger variety of monsters. In fact most things seem upgraded from the first game. Fighting in this one actually lets you gain levels, which I think is better than the usually pointless fighting o the other games. I mean, you can only get so many rupees before it becomes a little pointless, so it's nice having another objective when fighting. It's also nice how many towns there are to visit. I never could understand why Gannon was so bent on taking over Hyrule in the first game since it seemed to mostly be populated by hermits living under trees. In the second game the kingdom of Hyrule really does seem like a thriving kingdom with citizens all over the place. Many of the town names were recycled as character names in the Ocarina of Time which always bugged me a little. Why couldn't they come up with any original ideas? Actually there's a lot that bugs me about Ocarina of Time, but that's another post for another day.

Playing back through it I'm surprised that I was able to beat this game as a young kid without the internet to help me out. I was probably twelve or so the first time through, and I guess I had more patience back then. I remember it taking me weeks to make it through those Death Mountain caves. Those marshes were killer as well. It's also full of well hidden secrets. I remember going along with my hammer and clearing out forest just in case I found a treasure there. I was really proud when I found the hidden guy in the chimney, and just remember that there's a secret in every empty house.

That might have been why I loved this game so much. It was so difficult and so full of secrets that any progression seemed like a big accomplishment. Today I can just go on the internet and find the solutions to any troubling spot in a game. It helps me get through difficult parts, but it also leaves me feeling a little empty inside. Zelda 2 takes me back to a time when it was all about the journey and the exploration. Every step in the right direction was special. I'm sure it's different if you're just now playing this game for the first time, but this game will always be a classic in my book.

NES #5: Adventures in the Magic Kingdom

The next game in my series of Capcom published kids games is kind of an odd one. There were many games based on commercial mascots and other outside characters, but I'm not sure if any of them seemed more like an advertisement than this one. You get to wander around Disney's Magic Kingdom and check out many of the attractions. Of course the game doesn't tell you that at the real park you're mostly sitting down and watching things. At times the game seems more interactive than the actual park does.

The way this game is set up is also a little strange. Although Mickey, Donald, and Goofy all make appearances you don't get to play as them. Instead you get to play as a very sad looking little kid. You can tell just by the look on his face that he doesn't want to do this, and I can't say that I blame him. He was probably expecting to go on a nice relaxing vacation, but instead he has to put his life in danger just because Goofy lost the keys for the parade. Why can't Goofy go? Why do they have to send some little kid? On top of that his mom dressed him up like a cowboy, and because his name is fill in the blank he is probably being called something like Asshat right now. I know that one never gets old, but I feel too sorry for this sad looking kid. I'm going to call him Dignity.

So as I said earlier, Dignity gets put into a lot of danger just so Disney can have it's precious parade. His objective is to find keys hidden in the different attractions around the Magic Kingdom. One of them is a trivia quiz which he should be able to survive alright, but in the other ones he has to survive being blasted into space, chased by ghosts, attacked by pirate skeletons, dodging boulders on a runaway train going down a mountain, and jumping over large hazards in a car. Give this kid a break! Mickey even warns him when going into the Haunted Mansion that the ghosts are out to kill him. Why would you let him do it? Couldn't you just cut the gate open so that no kids have to die? It just doesn't make a lot of sense.

The game itself isn't too bad once you get past the story. I had never played it as a kid so I don't have any fond memories attached to this one, but I still enjoyed it alright. You have infinite continues so beating the game is just a matter of time. Each level is a different type of game so it does have some variety. None of the different levels are really standouts, but they are all decent. The whole experience took me about 45 minutes. If you like old Capcom games then you'll probably like this one. I just wish that they would've came up with a better story so that I wouldn't have to feel so guilty each time my character gets killed by a drunken pirate.

NES #4: Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

Here we have another game based on a cartoon from my youth. The game is alright, but it always bugs me when a games uses an 'n instead of the word and. Is that really necessary? I guess it does make it seem a little more hip, but I sure wish it was consistent. Sometimes we see that floating n with an apostrophe on both sides and sometimes there's no apostrophe at all.

So that's the kind of thought that was going through my head as I played this one. I guess from that you can tell how easy it is. Now I know that it's a game made for kids, but some of the Capcom kids games have a good level of difficulty. I'm sure even the youngest players wouldn't have too much trouble with it. I was a big fan of this one when I was younger and was a little surprised to find out that it's just an alright game. Probably the reason I loved it so much was because of the world map. There was just something about a game that showed all the levels on a screen. I just thought that they were somehow more advanced during a time when I craved more complex games. It might also be that it reminded me of my two favorite games at the time, Bionic Command and Mario 3. Either way, when I saw that blimp flying on that skinny path with a bunch of square letters to chose from I was hooked.

Of course twenty years is a long time and although I still love world maps, both in video games and real life, I only found this game to be mildly amusing. It's often the case that a game will be harder than I remember. This one, however, I was able to get through in about thirty minutes. I did get a game over once, but that was only because I forgot the controls and kept falling off the edge. One problem is that the world map allows you to skip almost half the levels. I guess the concept does have a dark side.

The one player mode allows you to chose between Chip or Dale, but since Chip is a pompous ass you'll probably want to use Dale. Gadget gives you some advice between levels, but it is not very useful and is quickly forgotten. It made me happy as a kid that if you saved Gadget as Dale you got to bring her flowers. I always wanted Gadget to end up with Dale instead of that jerk Chip, and I wonder if anyone else out there was taking the show so seriously. I also thought that Gonzo should end up with Miss Piggy on Muppet Babies, but he was probably better off without her.

It looks like I'm losing focus again. There's not really much to this game so it's easy for my mind to wander. It's a decent Capcom NES game that many of us have fond memories of, so I don't have any problems recommending it. Just be warned that it's super easy and not quite as good as you remember. If you're just now getting into NES than this isn't a bad starter title. However if you're like me and you've basically been playing video games every day for twenty years than it's not too impressive. It was easy enough to help me get past my NES fatigue though, so it did have an upside.

NES #3: Duck Tales

It's a little hard for me to be objective about Duck Tales. This is a game that I've basically been playing for 20 years, and it's connected to many of my fondest childhood memories. Because of this I'm not sure if it's really a great game or not. It sure seems like it is. It has great level design and very memorable music. At the same time though it is very short, and it has an odd attack, but that doesn't hurt its score much in my book.

I have no idea why Capcom was able to make good games out of licensed characters while every other company failed. It makes me wonder why people kept licensing to companies like LJN and TH*Q who always put out horrible games. Capcom has some real licensed gems, and Duck Tales might be my favorite one. If you've never played this one before it's nothing particularly revolutionary. You start out with five levels to choose from at typical NES locations. There is an ice level, a space level and so on. All the major Duck Tales characters make appearances except for poor ol' Duckworth, but the only playable character is Uncle Scrooge. He attacks by hopping around on his cane. You also go around collecting treasures and ice cream cones. If you're a good gamer you can probably start from scratch and have the whole game beat in an hour or two.

So why do I love this game so much if it all sounds so unremarkable? Maybe that's because when I think of NES one particular type of game stands out in my mind. Thanks to Super Mario Brothers the NES was largely defined by it's side scrolling platform games. No system did them better or more often. Duck Tales is a great example of a platform game done well. It is well designed and colorful with many hidden treasures to find and a decent level of challenge. There is just something satisfying about a game that excels when it is supposed to. Duck Tales is just that type of game, and I really enjoyed completing it again.


So for my next game I'm not 100% sure what it's going to be. I'm already starting to feel a little fatigued and it's only been two days. Duck Tales almost froze on me again, but I think I got it just in time. I might try to go through a game I haven't already beat a dozen times just so that I don't feel like I'm repeating myself. I'll get back to you on that one.

Frustration!

Well it looks like there's not going to be any completions tonight. I had started out playing Yo Noid tonight, but it turned out to be a little harder than I remembered. I will need a couple more tries to finish that one probably. I then settled on Duck Tales which is a game I can usually beat quite easily. As usual I was breezing right through it, but when I got to the final boss the game started blinking and reset itself. Now I don't mind it when I can't finish a game because I suck at it, but I don't much like it when it's something out of my control that keeps me from finishing it.

It does seem like my NES has been doing this a lot lately. Usually there's some dust on the game that I just need to clean. I'm a little gamed our right now so I will try again in the morning. I had thought about just cheating and saying that I beat it, but then what would be the point of this blog? Perhaps there still isn't one, but a guy can dream.

P.S. I can't believe that my computer accepted gamed as a word. Is there a verb form for the word game? Something like "he gamed throughout the night"? That seems like something I should know.

NES #2: Solitaire

Really Nes? You're playing Solitaire? Why don't you play a real game already!!

I know, playing Solitaire seems like a cheap way to get another completion on my list, but I do actually have fond memories of this one. I remember playing this game all the time when I was a freshman in college and most of my other games were packed away. At the time it was just about the rarest game I had in my whole collection. It wasn't the most glamorous rare game out there, but I was still a little proud of it. And besides, look at that nice beach scene! It makes me want to go down to the equator and sip on a fruity drink with nobody around to talk to but my deck of cards. If that don't make you want to play Solitaire than I don't know what will!

So there's not really much to complete on this game. You just pop it in and play around till you've won a game. You only have to win one game and you've seen just about everything this one has to offer. You can deal either one card or three cards, but that's about the only variation. You can also change the backs and the colors of the cards. When I was in college I tried to beat this game with every design in every color. I guess I should have been studying for my finals, but it all worked out alright. I'm not going to get that obsessive about it today. I actually played this game for about a half hour, which was about 25 minutes longer than I expected. I guess my Solitaire skills aren't what they used to be.

So that's about it for this one. I promise I will play a real game next with actual levels and maybe even an ending to speak of. It was fun revisiting my past, although I probably should've been listening to Uncle Tupelo or Pavement to truly recreate my college experience. That's probably as close as I'd ever like to get though.

NES #1: Urban Champion

Okay so it's been about five minutes and I'm going to talk about Urban Champion. It's a somewhat tricky area because it is a looper. Many of the older NES games would loop after a certain number of levels much like Donkey Kong or any other old arcade game. Conventional wisdom usually states that once a game has looped it is considered beaten unless multiple finishes gives you a different ending or outcome.

So if you go by that then what we have with Urban Champion is a game that takes about two minutes to finish. Basically all you're doing is punching a guy from left to right past a few buildings. Once you've punched him into the open manhole then you win. The game keeps going after this, but nothing much really changes. The opponent is always the same green haired guy who never really seems to get any more difficult. I did notice a few more flower pots being dropped on our heads but that's really about it.

I do think it is interesting that our two fighters are punching each other out in an upscale neighborhood filled with endless book stores and snack bars. What could've made them so angry inside Barnes & Noble that they had to take their fight outside? And is there really such a thing as a high rise Snack Bar building with women gardening in the upper floors? I'm sure that they thought we would appreciate the extra detail they put in by naming the buildings. In a way I do, but would it have been too much to have a pool hall or tavern in the background?

So in closing Urban Champion will keep you busy for about five minutes. If nothing else it is useful for crossing off your completed games list. I remember renting this game several times when I was a kid. I know I was just a kid but it still surprises me that we kept going back for more. I guess the thought of getting to punch a guy in the face practically endlessly is just too good to pass up for a five year old.

How many blog entries start with hello?

So here's the plan right now. I have been playing Nintendo a lot lately, and I thought it would be a fun idea to see how many NES games I could beat over a one year period. I have about 240 games for it right now so that should keep my busy. If this thing goes well than I might expand to other systems or even talk about other gaming related topics. I'll probably start with some easier games that I've already been through, but I will work my way up to some new ones.

So why start on June 9th?

Well I have a couple of reasons for this. The first is that I thought of this idea a couple of days ago, and I really don't feel like waiting till January 1st of next year. The second is that this is the first day of my summer vacation. This two month period before the end of August is my best time to be completely lazy and play games. So I hope I can keep this thing going and that I can say some things that haven't already been said a thousand times on other video game blogs. Well I guess I should get started. I will be back in a moment to tell you what the easiest NES game to beat is.